The Top 5 Things to Discuss Before Getting Married

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We asked a few seasoned couples' therapists to give us the prewedding conversation lowdown, below, and map out the tough discussions to have with your soon-to-be spouse before heading down the aisle. For example, among testers, men scored higher on measures of depression and anxiety, and women scored higher on measures of abandonment anxiety.

He is to be an investor in his wife, and he sacrifices himself for her best. But talking about these things gives us a chance to bring them to the surface in a constructive way. If one partner was starved that might lead to unfaithfulness. If he wants to improve any aspect of his marriage—family or parenting—the solution lies in deepening his daily commitment to God.

Questions Couples Should Discuss Before Marriage

The epidemic of extravagant weddings is seeping into our in an unmistakable way. While there is no doubt that there is value in celebrating such a sacred day, is it possible that in our celebration- sometimes we miss the focus. When it comes to wedding planning, there is a tendency to focus on the minor details while neglecting the main point; planning the wedding, while neglecting to plan the marriage. Far beyond planning the particulars of a wedding day, the time of engagement is a really sacred time. Whether your past is tainted with pain, or filled with hope- you need to get real with where you come from. Past relationships, family history, and significant experiences both positive and negative that have shaped you are just some of the things that need to be discussed as you look back- so that you can join together in moving forward. Family: What role will your family play in your life once you are married. How will visits, holidays, and special occasions impact your relationship with one another. Will you start your own traditions, or continue those of your family of origin. What role will our family have when it comes to our life and decision making. Combining two people from two separate families into one is something that many people take lightly. Sex: Our views of sex and sexuality are shaped long before we commit to marriage. What are your views of sex, and how have they been shaped. What is your past sexual history and how might that impact your relationship. What expectations do you have and are you on the same page. There is no better time to share these intimate things than now, as you look ahead at marriage. From family secrets, to personal choices, from health problems to mental health concerns, this is the time to share things big and small, paving the way for honesty and openness as the foundation of your relationship. But talking about these things gives us a chance to bring them to the surface in a constructive way. What are your views on work, family, and marriage roles. How will you accomplish the cooking, the cleaning and the chores. What are your spending habits. Do you have any debt and how are you going to pay it what to know before marriage. What are your views on saving, tithing, and giving. Getting on the same page when it comes to money will save you so much strain as you soon become one. Children: Above and beyond dreaming about baby names, there is so much more to the topic of family planning before marriage. How many children do you hope to have. How were you parented, and what are your personal views on parenting. Who will take care of the children, and what are your views on day-care, schooling, and the like. What to know before marriage are many important aspects to this topic that would be beneficial to take the time to discuss and work through. Boundaries: Essentially, boundaries are your views on what is okay and what is not okay when it comes to your relationship and marriage. How will we protect our time, guard our emotions, and prevent our bodies from negative interactions with others. Struggles: One thing I know about marriage, is that it magnifies everything. Before you enter the pressure-cooker of marriage, you need to get real with your bad-habits and hang-ups here and now. Do you have a tendency to express anger through rage. Do you struggle with any addictive behaviors. Are there any areas in your life that you need to expose and address before you move forward toward marriage. Take the time to talk frankly and honestly about your struggles, and make the time to work toward hope and healing. Plan your wedding, but most importantly, plan your marriage- because a healthy marriage is something worth truly celebrating. Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in Relationship and Marital issues. She is the author of the new book Zondervan, 2013challenging young men and women to do dating in a way that is psychologically sound, emotionally healthy and spiritually grounded. Visit and follow her on to get your dating questions answered and to learn more. Publication date: December 11, 2013 Read what to know before marriage about that walks through many hot topics surrounding marriage today in light of God's Word.

But it's okay to disagree on: The little things. The wife begins to worry about the intrusiveness of her in-laws and their influence over her husband. En daar kun jij van profiteren, simpelweg door anderen te kopiëren. He defends his parents as simply wanting to be helpful. You need to set your priorities right and let things harmonize in a way that you can lead a happy and content married life.